Have you ever wanted something or someone so badly that you moved heaven and earth and a few other places in between to get it and when you finally do, you realize that you didn’t want it after all? You stare at the thing, wondering what in goodness name caused you to do some of the unsavory things you did to achieve it? And all you ended up with was a piece of fool’s gold, bright and shimmering on the outside but worthless powder on the inside? This happened to me recently and I am still staring at that thing in disbelief.
It started with me having this great desire for a particular kind of partner. I was looking for someone that understood me and accepted me for who I was given my proclivities for what others might consider flights of fantasy into the spiritual and metaphysical world. I thought I found that person, there was a connection that felt like it stemmed from previous lifetimes together, he understood me, and seemingly accepted my way of life. I wanted him. He was unavailable at the time but when did that ever stop a determined woman? I started by lying to myself, creating in my mind an image of him, that in retrospect, was not there. I wanted to believe that I had found The One and so I continued in the lie while adding a few more activities to it: manipulation, determination, subjugation, I played the man-woman game as I knew it and before long he fell, and fell hard, revealing the cracks that I did not notice, or more aptly said, that I refused to notice.
I looked at my idol with his clay feet and wondered what was there to share, how can persons like me who get caught up in situations like these see and understand the message? It may not relate to a person, it can be material wealth, name and fame, anything that we pursue for the having of it, thinking that our desires will be fulfilled once had. The lesson for us is a simple one:
Make sure that what you want is what you need.
Keep your intentions as pure as your heart.
Check in with the greater part of who you are.
Listen to your Intuition.