I felt nothing
I saw it coming —
my happiness was no match for your depressiveness
You won.
I exhausted myself
trying to get your there, sharing tools that worked for me —
Meditation
Appreciation
Creation — acknowledging the spirituality of our being.
But there was no scaling of that wall,
no rising from the dungeons where you chained yourself, preferring
to lie in a fetal position, your excrement, self-loathing
that you will never be, never have, anguishing.
I watched you in despair,
how could you not see what’s clear
that you will never move from there,
until you acknowledge your power — your deservedness, your forever.
Mere words were not enough, my actions you scoffed —
berating my happy smile though I stayed for a while,
digging deep into my treasure chest, emptying
it many times while I try to fill you up, believing
that my superpower,
hooked in from the living stream
was enough for us, it never was.
So with much regret, I close this chapter
But I’ve left a bookmark, a small window;
If ever you feel the urge to rise,
my shoulder’s here, that’s no surprise.
© I. Trudie Palmer
One Love